“The Bar” Chapter VI

“Did you at least have a peaceful week, after that horrible Monday?”

“It depends on what you would call peaceful,” Candace said in answer to Gloria’s question.

“The rest of the evening went great. I read my book until around nine-thirty that night, and then the phone rang. It was my boyfriend, David, calling.”

“That would be peaceful, unless he was in a bad mood. Was it, peaceful, I mean,”

“Why don’t we order another coffee and go to the ladies room, then I will tell you all about it when we come back.”

“Sounds like a winning idea if I ever heard one. I think my eyes are beginning to float now, anyway.”

We were laughing as we walked towards the back of the crowded, dimly lit bar.

On their way back to the table, Gloria stopped to introduce her to almost everyone in the bar. It seemed to Candace as if everyone loved Gloria.

“Gloria, do you know everyone here?

“Just about, my husband and I owned this place up until about two years ago.”

“It seems like a lucrative business, why did you and your husband decide to sell it?

“My husband passed away, three years ago last April and I just didn’t have the heart to run it anymore.”

“Oh Gloria, I am so sorry. I apologize for bringing it up, I did not mean to upset you.”

“Now sweetie, don’t worry about it. I come here once a week so that I can remember all the fun times we had here together. It’s alright, I promise you.” “I have also enjoyed watching people through-out the year’s, especially men.”

Candace thought a moment then slowly asked, “Why men?”

“Didn’t I mention earlier, that I equate men with birds?’

“Birds,” Candace blurted out louder than she meant to. With her voice filling with laughter that she could not whole-heartily contain, Candace said, “I have heard men called many things, but never birds. Will you please elaborate on that idea Gloria? Please, explain your theory of “Birds and Men” I believe this could be interesting.”

Gloria looked around the bar and her eyes settled on a table where there were two men, both were short and skinny. One looked as though he would weigh a hundred pounds, soaking wet, ” See the guy over at that table, the small dark-haired guy with the mustache, he is the one wearing the multi-colored, country western shirt, that’s so bright and busy with designs all over it,” Gloria asked Candace.

“Of course I see him. How could I not see him?” Both women laughed, and Gloria said, “Well, his name is Donald Elders; he has come here every Friday night for five years. I have called him a ‘Banty-Rooster,’ ever since he started coming here.”

“Why would you call him that,” Candace was giggling behind her hand, as she asked the question.

“Donald walks with an exaggerated, manly strut every time he is trying to pick up a woman. Poor guy, he has never figured out that his Banty-rooster strut is why he never gets a woman, but he keeps on trying.”

Candace and Gloria decided that they would stop by the bar and pick up their coffee instead of asking Sheila to bring it to them.

The bar was as busy as the rest of the place, so they had to wait for a few minutes. There were three people working behind the bar now.

Stacks told the other two he would get the coffee, when he saw Candace and Gloria standing there.

“I just put a new pot on, I’ll bring your coffee, to your table, just as soon as it’s made,” he told them.

“Are you sure? We don’t mind waiting on it to finish,” Candace told him.

“Not a problem. Go sit down, I need a break anyway, that is if you two do not mind my sitting with you.”

“Of course you can sit with us,” Gloria said, “You don’t mind do you Candace,”

“I do not mind at all,” Candace replied, thinking, I do not mind at all, not one bit.

Candace felt a little giddy at the thought of Stacks sitting with them. After all, he was one gorgeous specimen of a man.

“Gloria, are you really sure that he is not married,”

Laughing, Gloria sat down at their table. Then said, “Candace, you can take my word for it, I am one hundred percent sure that Stacks, is not married, nor has he ever been married.”

“Great. One angry wife was enough for one night,” Candace said thinking about Mavis and George.

“Come on Gloria, give it up, you have listened to me talk all night, now at least tell me about the other bird men here tonight.”

“My bird man theory, hmm, well now, I have never thought of it quite like that, but in truth I guess that’s really what it is.”

“All right, then, look over at the bar. Do you see the-big man who has the rug on his head, and all those gold chains around his neck?”

“Rug,” Candace burst out laughing.

“Yeah, you know a man’s wig, a toupee I believe it is called; anyway, it looks like it could be full of dust mites and all kinds of nasty little bugs to me.”

Nodding her head vigorously, Candace would not trust herself to say one word. She knew that if she opened her mouth she would burst out in a gale of laughter.

“Well his name is Tolliver Lawrence, now there is a man I call the buzzard. He has beady little eyes set in a dark skinny face with a long skinny neck. If you watch his eyes, they are always darting here and there, as if he was looking for a rabbit to pounce on. His nose is large and hooked; now, if you let your eyes travel down to his body, you will see that from his chest all the way down to his bottom, he starts resembling a pear. Then when you look at his legs, they are short and skinny. Now, does he look like a buzzard to you or what? How the heck that man finds pants that fit his large bottom, and how they are also tight on those sticks he calls legs, I will never know.”

Candace was laughing so hard, that tears were streaming from her eyes. There was no way she could answer Gloria, even if they were not rhetorical questions. Gloria was right the man looked like a buzzard. Candace did not see Stacks as he approached the table.

They were both laughing as he sat the coffee in front of them. He leaned over, kissed Gloria on the cheek, and then sat down.

“Have you been telling Candace your idea of how all men have bird like qualities?”

Inclining her head, while smiling mischievously, Gloria said, “of course I have. Man watching is the reason I come here each week, well, that and your sweet company of course.”

Grinning at Gloria but did not respond to what he had said, Stacks said “I don’t know what’s been going on over here, but the way my best waitress kept running over here on her breaks and all the laughter I’ve heard from this direction, I would be inclined to think you two were certainly enjoying yourselves tonight.”

Candace smiled at Stacks and told him,” I have had a wonderful time tonight. Here I have done all the talking; blubbering on for hours, and I just found out that Gloria has the most wonderful stories of her own to tell. I believe I could listen to her for hours, about her men versus birds, theory.”

Now you’ve gone and done it. Once you encourage her, Katie bar the doors, she will tell you about every man who walks in here and the bird that he reminds her of him. In addition, just wait until she starts telling you about the “Dating Comparisons’ between the two.”

“You bet I will that is if we can convince Candace to come back again soon. I will just have to see what I can do about do that.”

“I would not miss it for the world. I really want to hear all you have to say on this fun subject. It is wonderful, I will never look at men the way I used to. I suppose I am going to have to do a lot of bird research in the next week, so that I will be ready for Gloria and her bird men, Candace grinned, at Stacks, as she spoke.”

“That’s great to hear, and I’m glad you have enjoyed yourself,” Stacks said with a smile.

“I have had more fun tonight, than I have had in years. I also think, I have laughed more tonight than I have in a long time. Gloria is a delightful person to spend time with, I only wish  I only wish I would have come here when my friend, Sandra, first asked me to,” Candace told him.

“Well I certainty have enjoyed this evening. Candace has told me a wonderful story, about the most horrible day I have ever heard of, if that makes any sense whatsoever,” Gloria told him. Candace was just starting to tell me about the rest of her week.”

Now Gloria, I would imagine that Stacks would not care to hear about my crazy week. It is almost too strange to be true.

To be continued…


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