Journal #50

I think today will probably be a stay inside and stay warm kind of day. It was in the twenty’s last night and only thirty-six degrees now. It is so hard to get moving this morning, but after a pot of coffee, I may be able to think and write. I have a few stories that I want to work on, but once again it seems that the stories are slow in giving me their magic. I wish that I could get up each day and the stories would simply flow from my mind and on to the page. Unfortunately, this is not the way it works all the time. I may be asking too much from myself, in thinking that I should write one story after another, without a break between them. The truth is that when I am not writing, I feel lost. I either have to be reading or writing each day. If I do not, then I become sad and grumpy. The good side to that, is if I am too very grumpy or sad, my husband will buy me a book to cheer me up. I wonder if it is a ruse to get what I want… Na, it must be a deep psychological homeostasis part of my mind at work, saying…”You must feed me to keep up your natural overall balance.” What I need to know is… Am I dazzling you with my brilliance, or baffling you with my BS?

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